Every year, divorce attorneys across the nation brace themselves for the post-holiday season. As soon as the last jingle bell has rung and the final Christmas tree lights are out, the number of people seeking advice about divorce suddenly goes up.
Are you and your spouse likely to be among them this year? Here's how you can tell if you're heading for a post-holiday divorce.
You Haven't Been Happy For A While
If your marriage has been troubled or outright rocky for a while, a post-holiday split is more likely. A lot of couples will give their marriage one last chance during the holiday season. Others don't want to initiate a divorce during the holidays because they don't want to upset the kids or other family members during what's supposed to be a joyful period. Some just don't aren't ready to deal with the number of questions they might face if they go to holiday events without their spouse, so they put a brave face on things and hang on until early January.
The longer your marriage has been floundering, the more likely that you're heading for a split after the festivities are over. In fact, the holidays may even hasten the demise of your marriage if either you or your spouse hoped to rekindle warm feelings toward your marriage during the holidays and it didn't happen—that can be the "final straw" that prompts one of you to take action.
Your Starting To Picture Life Without Your Spouse
There's a number of ways that this happens—and it usually happens slowly. First, you may start keeping your private thoughts and feelings to yourself simply because you've stopped trusting your spouse the same way that you used to do. Your spouse may have also entered the same sort of phase. Protecting yourself emotionally is part of the process of extracting yourself from a relationship.
Then, you start to do more and more things on your own. You make plans without your spouse regularly—and not just for "girls' night" or "boys' night." You just find it easier to enjoy yourself without your spouse because you no longer "click" together.
Eventually, you realize that you wonder what life would be like without your spouse entirely. Coming home to your spouse and talking about your experiences during the day feels more like an obligation and a chore than something that you enjoy. At that point, you've probably been entertaining the notion of being single again for a while—even if it wasn't consciously.
Do you recognize yourself in these statements? If you do, a divorce attorney can help you decide how best to proceed.
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