When you are getting a divorce, things can seem bleak at times, but don't lose heart. Your divorce lawyer, someone from a place like Eschbacher Law, can help you through every step of the legal issues you face. In fact, your lawyer can even help you fight for custody and empower you to legally pursue things in the well-being of your kids. However, you have to put in the work with your soon-to-be ex-spouse to establish a relationship that is as amicable as possible under the circumstances you're in.
One thing that you can do to start moving in the right direction with your spouse is to wave the white flag and express your desire to establish a positive co-parenting relationship. Even if the divorce has been filled with feuds, it's never too late to turn it all around. Try some levity and fun by suggesting to your ex that you celebrate Ex-Spouse Day. This holiday takes place each year on April 14, but you may choose to celebrate it any time that works for you.
Send a Sincere, Sweet Email to Your Ex
If things are really bad between you and your ex, this effort may not be taken seriously. However, if possible, start Ex-Spouse Day off with a sweet email to your spouse. Point out the things that you sincerely like and appreciate about your ex, and leave off any mention of things you dislike. If there is an ongoing custody battle, you may want to talk to your lawyer about what you should and shouldn't say. Depending on your unique situation, you may need to be careful with positive and negative things that you say.
Go Out to Dinner as a Family
Let your kids know about the holiday. Ask them how it makes them feel, then plan a family dinner to celebrate the holiday. You may all decide to start a tradition of eating out as co-parents and kids once per year on this date. Make a commitment to speak positively about each other at the dinner, yet don't overdo it because you don't want to give your kids false hope of a reconciliation that isn't going to happen. Talk frankly and positively during the dinner, and finish it up with a celebratory dessert.
Finally, keep in mind that Ex-Spouse Day is meant to be a positive holiday. No matter how angry you may be at your spouse, never use it as an excuse to rage at an ex. Don't insert sarcasm or passive-aggressive tactics into the celebration of the day. If you cannot honestly commemorate the day in a positive way, just ignore it altogether.
Here's why: If you behave in a negative way towards your ex on this day, it can actually have a negative impact on your divorce and possibly even custody arrangements. Instead, keep it fun and clean. Make the most of Ex-Spouse Day, and you may start on a positive path of divorced co-parenting with your ex.
My daughter and her former husband went through some very tough years. They tried everything to make their marriage work, but it just wasn't going to work out. When she came to me for advice about what to do, I sent her on to a divorce attorney. I explained to her how important it is to have a legal professional working with you from the very start of a divorce. If you are preparing to file for a divorce, or are currently going through one, go to my site. There, you will learn several reasons why you should have an attorney representing you through the process.